i think seeing everyone so happy today made me miss vincent eve more that i would like to. its becoming this hole in me that i still cant fill and right when i try to cover it up and forget about it, but its not possible. how is it possible to love something sooooo much that doesnt even exsist any more. you will never know how hard i pray just to hold him one more time! you know they say its better to have love and lost than never have loved at all... well i'm not saying that i regret what happened, but would i be in as much pain if this would have never happened? i hope that god does something. cause i know i'm so uncapable of anything right! i just want to feel complete like vincent made me feel. he was unlike anyone or anything i ever knew. he was my piece of heaven on earth...*tear* now its hell on earth. i love him more than i want to allow myslef to express!