just one time i would like to be someone else. just long enough to see me as others do. i dont get it. no matter how much a try, i dont see myself as others do, and thats what makes it so hard for me to accept complements from people. for instance, my mom sees me as this young woman who has all the right answers, has a good head on her soulders, and sees life in more of a mature way than most kids her age. now, what do i see?: a scared little girl with high expectations given to her because she doesnt want to let others down, doesnt have many people she can relate to or even run to, so that leave this child forced to be an adult when all she wants is to be her own age.... others do the same to me: peggy thinks i'm just this wonderful person that can do anything if i put my mind to it, some one who is bound to be this great respected person when i get older, ect. but how in the world am i, a simple 17 yr old, suppose to be the role model of this woman? i mean i care for her and all, but isnt she suppose to be the role model for me?...people at work: my boss thinks i'm just the greatest thing he's ever seen. the hardest worker, does the job better than the other emplyees, has the best attitude, the best future ahead of them, has a personality like no other, easiest person to talk to about whatever, ect. and how do i see it?: a typical high school kid in the work place trying to make money, does her best because...isnt that what people are paid to do? and i'm easy to talk to only when i really care about that person. *shrugs* and this other person: he thinks that i'm just the most fasinating person to talk to, fun to work with, fun to be around, looks great with my hair down, and cant wait until the next day we work together,ect. me on the other hand: i think that i'm a lame person to work with, i'm ok to be around if you can handle me being a smartass, and whether my hair is up or down, i see dont see the person i want to see......

now, my whole point behind this wasnt to down myself (too much) but just to prove my point that its hard to see myself how others see me. for once i want to see the beautiful young woman with a bright hopefull future that these people see. that way i know for sure if this person really exist or if these people are just bias... make sense?