Well, as much as I've been putting off even thinking about making a new entry, I suppose its about time I should, since these things are to keep others posted on what's going in others lives, then here I go.

This past week and a half almost have been (I'm not going to sugar coat it at all) a living H-...Well, you fill that in. All of you who actually read this already know what happened, so there's no need to put it in words again, but yall do lack a lot of the knowledge of how this has left me feeling. Mainly because I have chosen to keep most of the relationship between him and I, and a lot of other stuff to myself. Not because of shame, but more of I knew myself better than anyone else and didn't want to be told I was wrong or anyone to talk me out of what I was doing. That make sense? As I was reading through my last entry I noticed I wrote about prayer and how it was not suppose to be a means of getting our way, but more of a "Your will be done Lord". In the past few days, that has been one of my biggest struggles. I guess cause at times I understand and accept what happened and why (cause he had health problems and mental problems what were only getting worse) but at other times I find myself wanting to break down asking why. why out of everyone, why at this time, why in that manner, just WHY?(we still don't know what caused it, they thought it was a brain aneurysm, but now they don't know, they cant find anything. Its like God just took him. We just have to wait for the results to get all the answers. Until then, its torture!)
After spending all weekend with his mom, it really hit me how strong the power of one really is. Yeah we talked about that at camp and all that, but this was real! My real life experience. His mom told me in tears, that while I was away, he made a major life change. He said he was finally FREE from all his pains, her knew the truth. And if you knew anything about him, that's a lot of pain. But she started telling me that in life its suppose to be the mother's job to lead her children to the truth, and God knows she tried, only to have him fight back about it and never accept what she believes. But one day this little girl comes into her son's life and he all of a sudden is opened to the truth. Its not fair to her!
I don't know what I'm getting at really, I have a million thoughts going all at once and my fingers aren't allowing me to get them out. But I guess what I'm saying is to never take advantage of the moments you have with people, because 1. You never know if you're going to be the one that God finally uses to get through to them, and 2. They may not be around forever, cherish every second with them!